Those were the last words to me from my baby? Odd, or just plain nasty? Something is definitely not right here, huh? I really am lost for an explanation this time; though I believe I just might have a faint clue on what is going on.

Yesterday or the day before she comes up with this theory for “taking a break” in our relationship. I told her if that is what her heart wanted then so be it. She then backs out and had a change of mind. So she figured… anywhoo last night, early this morning, I had my nose into some Adobe Photoshop CS2 tutorials so that I could learn a new feature. I ended up constructing a project for her to be all sweet. I finished the project and went and printed it as well as some of our Halloween Horror Nights photos, then headed over to her job to see her! I surprised her again, like I did the previous day, and she had just clocked out so we were able to spend her entire lunch break together. It was cool, we even went over to a furniture store to look at desks. After that we headed back to her job so she could finish her day up; and she talked me into waiting, two hours, until she got off. I agreed and went over to the book store and read while I waited.

After she got off she came and got me and we headed to her house so she could shower and then leave to come to my house. While at her house I got a bite to eat of something her dad whipped together which I thought was really good and we watched a little T.V. Now after one show went off something else came on and it wasn’t appropriate, her dad changed it, then a couple minutes later he put it back on and the scene was a couple laying in bed, under the covers, having mushy talk. I briefly glanced at the T.V. and within a split second my girl snaps at me, “I saw that…” I was like me looking at the T.V., so she gets all pissy on me and storms off to the bedroom. I’m like what the blazing balls did I do?!!

I get up after about 5 minutes of her still back in her room to see what’s up and she just won’t answer me. She finally gets this hostile nasty tone and asks me, “So it’s okay to watch that on T.V.?” I say, “Like what a couple laying in bed talking, under the covers?” She only responds with, “You make me sick…” stood up said goodnight then walked to my bike then left.

Erin, I don’t know what I do to upset you so that you act so vehemently towards me, but I love you and wish I could spend every waking hour and every breath I take in your presence. You hurt me so bad… see the reason why it hurts so bad is because you being the one that believes in me make me look up to you, then when the shining star that shines so bright on goes dim and lashes out at me it destroys my soul that I have left. Tears are only physical and as they stream down my face it can’t compare to the turmoil and pain my heart feels from this.

I guess you really did want a “break”… well you now got it. The break is probably because I don’t make you happy anymore or I’m just not what you want. Sorry, I’m not perfect….